Dear Ranbir-Deepika, You’ve Permanently Ruined Vacations For All The Youth In The Country. Thanks

Dear Ranbir-Deepika, You’ve Permanently Ruined Vacations For All The Youth In The Country. Thanks

Think about it...

When was the last time you went on a vacation with friends to an exotic location, got lucky with a group of hot, single and obviously dumb girls en-route your journey, got into shit, got out of it but ultimately came back home with the love of your life whom you happened to meet along the way. And then at the end of it all exclaimed, "What happens in XYZ, stays in XYZ!"

Never! Right? Well it won't happen ever either. You know why?

Because you're no Ranbir Kapoor. And there's absolutely no Deepika Padukone waiting for you out there. And most importantly, you got your fucking trip organised by TripAdvisor and not Imtiaz Ali.

Every homo-sapien who has ever had a friend circle in his/her '20s would know that a real vacation plan goes through the following 3 phases:

Stage I: Planning a weekend trip over Whatsapp every Friday (preferably clubbed with a gazetted holiday).

Stage II: Aiming for Manali and settling for Rishikesh because there has to be at least one friend who's saving for his/her mother's operation/sister's marriage/ ex's birthday.

Stage III: Catching the last bus after days of convincing and backing out.

And when we finally survive the three stages and get down to finally boarding the bus/train to our destination, we think 'Fuck everything! We are the world's best wolf pack that can deal with anything and we are going to have the time of our lives. '

Because haven't Ranbir and Deepika taught us just that... Erm except our realities are just a wee bit different!

Here's how Ranbir-Deepika ruined vacations for the youth of the country:

1. Expectation: Running into an old crush at the platform.

Reality:

2. Expectation: A little DDLJ moment while getting in.

Reality: 

3. Expectation: Flirting with hot co-passengers in the adjacent compartment.

Reality:

4. Expectation: Exotic sea side destination.

Reality:

5. Expectation: Royal 5-star  accommodation.

Reality:

6. Expectation: Surviving a mountain trip in your favourite half-sleeve jacket.

Reality:

7. Expectation: Rule the party with your Badtameez Dil moves.

Reality:

8. Expectation: Run into and get out of shit like a boss!

Reality:

10. Expectation: Make out with a foreigner, preferably Russian!

Reality: 

11. Expectation: One of the friends suddenly turns super-hot on the trip.

Reality:

12. Expectation: Impress the girl with your bullshit world travel plans.

Reality:

13. Expectation: Proposing to a girl in a crowded cafeteria.

Reality:

14. Expectation: And obviously by the end of the trip, kiss her.

Reality:

15. Expectation: Say at the top of your voice... What happens in Corsica, stays in Corsica!

Reality:

So dear Deepika and Ranbir,for the love of all that is holy, stop taking Indian youth for a ride!

Looks Like You’ve Been Drinking Beer Wrong This Whole Time! Here’s The Right Way

It sounds strange. How can anyone drink beer wrong? What can possibly go wrong with downing beer! The standard protocol is to buy beer, sup it down, buy another beer and repeat. From brewing beer and marketing it, to tasting it and serving it, there is a lot of effort that goes into making beer. If there is an art of making beer, there is an art of drinking it too.

Here's how you might have been drinking beer wrong all your life:

1. Beer is not meant to be chugged. It's supposed to be sipped slowly.

Mostly the regular beer kinds we get in the market are light malted. So it is meant to be drunk quick and cold. But when we have a darker malt , it is best to let it sit for some time and let its temperature rise. That brings the aroma and taste out of it. You will probably discover its perfection in the last sip you saved.

2. Did you know you're supposed to 'chew' your beer?

Sounds batshit crazy, right? But's there is a point behind it. The left and right side of your tongue releases sweet and bitter taste. The front part is where the salt receptors are. Keep the beer in your mouth and let it move inside for sometime. Get set for some kick ass mix of flavour.

3. Beer is not meant to be had without food.

One, the natural carbonation of the beer will cut through and cleanse your taste palate. And two, believe it or not, it has lesser calories than wine.

4. Beer. Food. Beer.

In that order.

You need to follow this pattern. Pop in some food and wash it down with beer to create a fresh palate for that authentic hit of food again. Follow this mantra and repeat. Neat!

5. Your beer is fresh till it has a foam top.

You're supposed to drink up before the foam dies.

Do not lose the foam. It is the foam that will prevent the bubbles from escaping, and keep it fresh. Up your beer game with the foam on!

6. Tandoori chicken does not go well with light beer.

Basically, the golden rule is to eat lighter food with lighter beer.

Team up a sweet malt with spicy flavours to give a fresh, sharp kick to your palate. For example, steal a Pilsener for a plate of tempura prawns. Pilsener has a lemon-y taste to it and gives rise to small tight bubbles, which helps in cutting through the rich fat batter right through to the flavour of the fish.

All of us thought beer is a fun drink but it really is not one without rules. I hope this helps you in making your beer better. Guzzle your beer down, in style. 

Cheers!

Here’s Why Indian Brides Carry A Glass Of Milk To The Bedroom On Their Suhaag Raat

Since time immemorial we have been bombarded with images of a newly-wed bride entering the bedroom with a glass of milk. Even though movies and television tend to overdo it a bit, there is some truth to the age-old custom. It is also quite scientific.

A discussion started in Quora when an individual asked "Why do Indian brides enter the bedroom with a glass of milk for the groom on the day of consummation?"

While many might argue that this is a custom alien to their part of the country, but the fact is that it is a custom followed in many other parts. Some good souls decided to answer this question and settle the matter once and for all.

The consumption of milk is seen as an auspicious act and marks the beginning of a blissful conjugal life

Milk plays an important role in Hindu rituals. It is considered to be a purifying agent and is used at the beginning of a number of rituals. As the bride and groom begin a conjugal life, milk marks the beginning of it; the act of consumption is seen as a mark of purification. 

It is seen as a symbol of good fortune that the bride carries to the groom's life 

As most ancient Indians were farmers, a lot of importance was placed on cattle farming. And stuff from cow dung to ghee were used on a daily basis. Milk and other dairy products could keep them afloat for a long time too. Economically stable farmers had more cattle, and in turn enjoyed all forms of dairy products. A glass of milk is, hence, seen as a symbol of wealth and good fortune that the bride brings to the groom's life. 

After what appears to be days of unending celebration and work, milk helps the tired newly-weds to relax

It is safe to say that any Indian wedding can be extremely tiring. So, when it is all wrapped up, a glass of milk comes in handy to relax the tired couple. Milk contains a sleep-inducing amino acid called Trytophan. Hence, drinking milk is a great way to unwind. It relaxes the body and enables one to have a good night's sleep. 

It is also an aphrodisiac. That is pretty much self-explanatory

The milk is usually consumed mixed with turmeric and saffron. 

Helps the newly-weds to chill, literally

Milk helps in reducing the body heat that rises during consummation. In certain parts of the country, the couple is asked to have milk everyday for the first few months. 

Great then! So that's out of the way.